Resolutions After Tragedy

3:16 AM.

On the night after the mass shooting at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Grand Blanc, Michigan, I had turned over in bed and uncovered my phone, figuring it must be time to get up and doing. I’m accustomed to the “anxiety alarm” waking me up a bit prematurely, but 3 ½ hours early was unusual.

My wife and I lived in Southern California at the time of the San Bernardino Mass Shooting – it occurred on my birthday. I remember learning that the attackers lived less than a block away from my workplace. I remember hearing that the police chase started at their residence and continued nearby. I remember realizing that the site of the attack (and the street where the authorities ended the threat) were both within 5 miles of our apartment. I remember having my birthday dinner at our “plan B” restaurant (as the other place was closed due to proximity with the shooting), and hoping that the storm had finally passed. I remember news helicopters hovering near the apartment and workplace for days.

But this one hits closer to home for me.

I’m a practicing member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and an integral part of that practice is our weekly worship service (referred to as our “Sacrament meeting”). As Christians, it’s a time for us to focus on the healing, forgiveness, mercy, and truth available through Jesus Christ. As humans, it’s a time to come as we are, flaws and all, and experience peace, joy, gratitude, second chances, and perspective. I’ve had weeks where I go through the motions in those meetings, but I’ve also had weeks where I’ve felt myself healed, lifted, enlightened, strengthened, and even changed during that time.

We use the word “chapel” for the part of the church building (meetinghouse) where this meeting takes place, but “sanctuary” might be a more-appropriate term. Hearing of a horrific act of violence occurring in a place designated as a spiritual sanctuary is disturbing. Especially when I understand what that sanctuary is like – half the country away and a few hours later, I was in a Sacrament meeting just like that one, partaking of the same ceremonial bread and water to remember the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, taking part in one of the rare scheduled moments in my week where I can step back from the cares of life, if only for a minute.

What brought this event closer still was that it involved cherished family members. My sister-in-law and her husband were worshipping in that specific sanctuary in Grand Blanc at the time of the attack. A month earlier, we were enjoying time with them in California – laughing hysterically over a collaborative video game, receiving thoughtful gifts from them, introducing them to a favorite grilled chicken recipe, and deepening our connection. I am profoundly grateful they were not physically harmed in this attack. I am also shocked by what they had to go through – both the overall tragedy as well as the specific moments of terror that they experienced.

I acknowledge that I have been far, far less affected by this tragedy than those who were in that meetinghouse at the time of the attack, or family and friends of those who lost their lives or were wounded, or neighbors who had to witness the horrific events, or the community of Grand Blanc at large. But this event has affected me enough to feel the need to speak out.

Going forward, I have made the following resolutions:

Advocate For Small, Reasonable Changes

I will advocate for changes to lower the likelihood of tragedies of this scale from occurring. I have been strongly in favor of gun control my entire adult life. I also realize the need to see all sides of the issue, and that polarization and “my way or the highway approaches” are impeding meaningful change. I resolve to educate myself on the scope and court rulings related to the 2nd Amendment, on how gun laws are enacted and implemented, and on other factors (in addition to weapons) that have contributed to the mass shootings that plague our country.

For starters, I intend to advocate strongly against the sale and distribution of semiautomatic weapons. My approach will likely evolve as I learn more. And I commit to finding and supporting reasonable, moderate, and small changes that can be enacted somewhere – either at the federal, state, or local level. In startup culture, there’s a practical ethos of “let’s find the simplest path towards getting something out there” (even when that “something” is incomplete, flawed, or a compromise), and I hope to apply that here as well.

Preserve our Flag’s Meaning

I’m not overtly patriotic, but I have deep respect for the sacrifices men and women have made for our country, and I am profoundly grateful to display the American flag in front of our home on Memorial Day, Independence Day, and Veterans Day. I was sickened to learn of the 2 American flags the attacker had in his truck bed when he plowed into the meetinghouse. It poisons my perspective of that national symbol.

I will not let my country’s flag be associated with terror, prejudice, divisiveness, and violence. I NEED to believe in a country where everyone is welcome and accepted, where freedoms are respected, and where dreams can be realized. If only for myself, I will continue to raise that flag on those holidays to remind myself of these transcendent truths, of hope for a better future, and as a symbol that the country I believe in welcomes all with open arms.

Live with Compassion

When someone is baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, they promise to “mourn with those that mourn”, and “comfort those that stand in need of comfort”. I’m grateful that tragedies can help us grow in compassion. I will try to “see my brother” in those suffering from other acts of violence, regardless of the setting of the attack or the distance from where I live.

Live with Purpose

In the book “The Dip”, Seth Godin shares the notion that “scarcity creates value”. This horrific mass shooting opened my eyes to how scarce, or fleeting, this life can be (and thus how valuable each day is). I resolve to live with more purpose, and with more courage for that purpose, than I ever have before. I’ve felt a deep desire to bridge gaps, to touch someone who’s overlooked, but I have often been dissuaded from doing so by feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, busyness, or prejudice. Jesus reached across socioeconomic, religious, national, gender, and lifestyle boundaries, to name a few, and I want to be His follower. I’m not afraid anymore to make these same steps, even if it goes against societal norms.

I believe in a God of miracles who watches over all of us – that even in these horrific events, there are “coincidences” that prevent things from getting even worse. In the San Bernardino mass shooting, the San Bernardino Police SWAT Team was doing live training nearby at the time of the attack and were thus able to mobilize quickly. In Grand Blanc, police were on the scene in less than a minute after the initial call for help. I have also been softened by the fair-minded descriptions of my religion in the news coverage of this event. I am grateful to live in a world with so many good people.

I’m reminded of a hymn that’s had great meaning to me, sometimes sung in our Sacrament meeting worship service:

Savior, Redeemer of my soul,
Whose mighty hand hath made me whole,
Whose wondrous pow’r hath raised me up,
And filled with sweet my bitter cup!

I leave you with words that have been on my mind, spoken by Jesus Christ:

As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.